I’ve heard that phrase aimed at me once or twice. I sometimes find it amusing – it’s ironic because i don’t have an overly crude sense of humor, yet I am riddled with illness! (as I wrote that, I heard it in my head being said by a television game show host, as if announcing the winner of a consolation prize. weird.)

Which brings me to the reason for this post. Many, many people have asked me over the years, “why are you sick so much?” At my most impatient moments, I give them a terse response like, “my parents dropped me.” If I’m in a disclosing mood, i give them the real full story. The latter will be contained within this post, mostly because I am lazy and growing more tired of the repetition.

Currently, i have a lung infection. Most people seem to react strongly to hearing that. Well, I’ve had hundreds of lung infections. When the infections get bad, i have to take IV antibiotics like i’m taking now. Oral antibiotics don’t work very well on me, partially because of bacterial resistance, partially because of my malabsorption. (more about that later).

IV antibiotics are strong. If injected into a small vein, they will literally eat away the vein until it ceases to exist. To remedy this, they invented a PICC line. It’s basically a long catheter that travels all the way from your upper arm down into the Vena Cava a couple inches from your heart. I had one installed last week. It sucked. The radiologist that was putting it in dug around in my arm for 15 minutes with a huge needle until he finally gave up and called in his replacement. Anyway, its in now – for those of you that wonder what it looks like, i’ve included a picture.

It's just a big tube jammed into my arm!

It's just a big tube jammed into my arm!

(The best part isn’t even shown in that image: the red and blue ports that look like RCA jacks. you know how long i’ve waited to have audio jacks coming out of my flesh?) So now, all of the sweet IV antibiotic goodness is being fed into me. The infection is getting eradicated, and my lungs are clearing up. The IV antibiotics do have the unfortunate side effect of general fatigue, but i’m managing. Back to the story…

Before I was conceived, somewhere along the process of meiosis a genetic mutation occurred. The result? Hypogammaglobulinemia. I have it. My body does not create IGG, which are antibodies used by white blood cells to fight infection. Without treatment, I would likely die of complications from infections or sepsis. Every three weeks, I get an IGG transfusion that brings my blood gammaglobulin up to a normal level. This is why I am such a fan of medical technology. If I had been born 20 years earlier… well, you know. What current medical technology cannot address is the lack of IGG in my mucus membranes. As a result, I constantly have low-grade infections in my sinuses, my lungs, and my intestines. The latter leads to some form of malabsorption.

I think that pretty much says it. If you have any comments, i’m down to respond. Oh, and please don’t feel sorry for me – I love my life, and everything that goes along with it. This is just a minor setback. Amazing things are coming…

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